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Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz latest invention: The BO-AT

Posted by: David H. Johnston Thursday January 28, 2010

If you have kids (and cable) there is a good chance that the Disney television show, Phineas and Ferb gets watched in your house. If you don’t have kids that’s ok; just know that you are missing out on the best cartoon television show that Disney has put out ever. It’s filled with weird looking kids, really funny adventures; and a secret agent platypus that fights his nemesis, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

So why bring it up tonight? One of tonight’s stories involved Dr. Doofenshmirtz trying to take over the tri-state area with some evil scheme once again. His secret weapon this time? The BO-AT.

Real Life Toronto Beach [Video]

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Thursday January 28, 2010

If you were ever interested in what beaches here in Toronto look like, here is a very accurate representation.

Kayak Tan Fail

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Monday January 18, 2010

Let this be a lesson to all you kayakers who hate to use sunscreen.

Image credit: failblog.org

The Boat Van – For the Sleepy Boater

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Tuesday October 20, 2009

Now this is a boat that Mr. T from the A-Team would have been proud of.

Best comment over at the “There, I Fixed It” blog: K wrote, “They should totally get it all done up with like an airbrushed sunset scene on the sides, maybe some nice curtains, shag carpeting...”

Image Gallery of Homebuilt Boat Kits [how not to do it]

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Wednesday August 05, 2009

Looking to get out on the water but don’t have the cash to buy or rent? Why not build your own? Below are a couple of inspiring photos from the fantastic website, thereifixedit.com that will likely give you a couple of ideas of not how to do it.

I also threw in a bulk hotdog cooker at the end for good measure.

Floating Couch

- They Assured Me It Floated

Kayaking has officially made it to the big times!

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Thursday June 25, 2009

Nigeria 419 Scam

How do you know when your sport has made it to the big times? A clear sign is when spammers are using your sport to try to scam you.

Over the past 24 hours, I have been getting reports of quite a few people in the kayaking community getting the posted email below.

If you get the spam, please ignore it as seems to reek of a ripe Nigerian Email Scam. A quick search on Google of the phone number brought up several different blog postings with the same person looking to pay nicely for chess, sewing and sailing lessons.

So pat yourself on the back and congratulate each other for being there when kayaking truly hit the big times. It’s a story you will want to remember to tell your grandkids and easily on the same level as your grandfather’s story of being there to see Babe Ruth play his first game.

Below is the email that's going around:

Man uses kayak to escape police

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Wednesday June 17, 2009

Meet Cory Lamondin from Bracebridge, Ontario. Cory was recently pulled over because of a burned out taillight. When he was questioned by police, he couldn’t produce a driver’s license (it was suspended) nor could they find his name in the computer database (he gave them a false name).

While he was sitting in the front seat of the police cruiser (said he had a bum knee and couldn’t sit in the back) he bolted from the car and ran through a nearby yard and down to a nearby lake where he conveniently found a kayak and paddles sitting close by (just like the movies). It was a quick paddle across the small lake to freedom.

Water Warning Signs Fail

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Thursday April 02, 2009

Here are two signs recently discovered signs on the internets for your viewing pleasure.

Remember kids, alcohol impairs judgement and you might find yourself feeling the need to kiss fish.

Warning Sign Fail

Found on Craigslist: I’m looking for a boat and I have a big gun to trade for it

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Wednesday April 01, 2009

Somebody recently sent me the link to this Craigslist posting. The poster has $1000 in cash and some serious firepower to trade for a boat. He doesn't mention what type of boat he is specifically looking for but it needs to be big. Oh yes, he has a mom in a wheelchair and wants to bring her along in the boat.

I will go out on a limb and guess that he isn't looking for a British style low-volume kayak with a skeg or a carbon racing canoe...

Forest Fire Prevention Fail

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Friday March 27, 2009

I saw this on the Intertubes today and couldn't help but laugh at the irony...

A comment I saw below the posting on the fail blog was just perfect. Velvet typed, "Please move the arrow 2 spaces to the right."

That type of comment would take me 2.3 years to think up!

Secret Life of AT-AT’s – I had no idea they liked kayak surfing!

Funny

Posted by: David H. Johnston Tuesday March 24, 2009

AT-AT Kayak Surfing. Photo Credit: NickIsConfused

Here is a quick snap that NickIsConfused on Flickr took of an AT-AT getting ready to go kayak surfing. Its part of a really funny photo collection called The Secret Lives of AT-AT's. There you will see our little friend surfing, playing with the cat as well as walking down the road broken hearted after getting his heart broken...

As kids, I knew that AT-AT's were perfect for crushing the little plastic Jedi Warriors on the carpeted floor of my cousins living room but little did I know they also liked taking long walks on the beach or sticking their heads through cat flaps all cute-like. I guess they are more sensitive then I was giving them credit and for that I would like to apologize to all AT-AT's who might be reading my blog today.

See the full collection here.

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz latest invention: The BO-AT

Real Life Toronto Beach [Video]

Kayak Tan Fail

The Boat Van – For the Sleepy Boater

Image Gallery of Homebuilt Boat Kits [how not to do it]

Kayaking has officially made it to the big times!

Man uses kayak to escape police

Water Warning Signs Fail

Found on Craigslist: I’m looking for a boat and I have a big gun to trade for it

Forest Fire Prevention Fail

Secret Life of AT-AT’s – I had no idea they liked kayak surfing!

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